Cliche.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"




For a few seconds there I was blank. I scrambled my mind for an answer. I even tried to travel back in time when I was a child just to recall what I wanted to be. And just like that my brain cells were frozen. No process or thought was on my mind at that moment.


Nada.


Insert a cricket sound if you must, I could not give an answer to the question.


So ramble I did. Pathetic much. I'm probably the only twenty-something in the world who doesn't know what she wants to be. Who forgot the things she had always dreamed of. I have reached a point in my life where I do not know what to want, what to live for. I might as well be dead.


I do recall I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a five year-old kid. The thought of being in space with nothing blocking you, just you alone, was lovely to me. Then I threw the idea out a year later when I realized loneliness is just too sad and I have no idea how to deal with it. Fast forward through my formative school years, I decided that having a relationship with science is fun, exciting, which is why as geeky as it may sound, I dreamed of having a lab and becoming (genius) scientist. Or maybe I should blame that fantasy to overdosing on Dexter's Laboratory, because when I got bored with Deedee annoying Dexter and Dexter cleaning up after Deedee, I found myself being fascinated with the wonders of being a lawyer. For the love of argument maybe. Or perhaps I just like the glamor and authority a lawyer has. (Power suits also amazed me. I think I wanted a few in my closet then. I just looked at them, but not wear them. I feel old when I wear them.)  I cannot remember anymore how or when I started to want my own business. And then when that phase had passed, I fell in love with the idea of being somebody's employee, and just getting up on the corporate ladder. 


And today, I have no idea where I am. I feel like I'm in the middle of Shibuya. Stuck in the middle waiting for the red light to turn green, which apparently in the last two months won't, and I can't seem to cross the street without being ran over by a bus.


How morbid.


I would give anything just to know which way to go, which road to take, which green light to look out for.


It took me more than half an hour to come up with this whole entry. Kind of unusual for someone who's used to writing at the speed of thought. The writer in me probably got tired and must have died along that stupid journey of searching what to be. And I still do not know the answer to the question!


(This is frustrating. Really.) 


In the middle of wanting to wrap this up and looking forward to sleeping, I suddenly remembered this song I used to sing from way back in 2004. (Please listen to the song, and do not mind the video. It's the most decent version I could find.)

So what do I want to be when I grow up?


You tell me what you want to be then I'll decide what I want to be.

Freshly Squeezed.

Yes, as the title implies, this is fresh and right out of the mind.


But it will also be a very short one (compared to my usual looong rants) because I only gave myself this much time to write about everything running on my mind.

~~~

As much as I hate to admit it, I am declaring Diana Glover's Thinking Over a part of my life soundtrack. Yes, the one from Raising Helen. And the one with the very cheesy line "Father, which way should I go? I cannot clearly see, oh, I love him so, But only you know if he'll be the one for me."

Even if I don't apply it romantically, I still need to think over a lot of things I am doing in life.

~~~

I am quite shocked with how these credit card people in Shopwise never fails to offer me a credit card at least once a week in the supermarket. They give me the creeps the same way real estate freaks and insurance ghouls do. At some point, it is flattering to be thought of by these people as somebody bankable but seriously, they just freak and creep me out. Like I would just give out personal information just to see if I really qualify for any of those offers.

And on the other hand, I really don't want to be slapped in the face that I couldn't meet their qualifications for their credit card. (It's a bank with really, really, really over the top requirements.)

I'm fine paying with cash, by the way.

~~~

Friends? I'm cool. I have a few. But each and every single one of that little number of friends I have care about me. Really.

And then I also realized that I have friends: who would go straight to our fridge and just drink our water; who would wait for two hours in the mall just to have dinner with me; who would drive up to my house at 3 in the morning just to give me a pasalubong.

Am I blessed or not?

~~~

A baby boy just gave me a big sloppy kiss. =")

Yeah, The Bad Boys Are Always Catching My Eye.

And this is the daily dose of random Monday morning rush buzz. Yep, there will be random rants after this sentence, this will be a quick post and it's up to you if you care or not.

So it's Monday. I woke up late. But I got in the office on time. Buzzer beater, pare. ;-) I am sooooo happy to finally arrive on time, on a Monday at that. At this point, I want to blame my past tardiness to Stresstabs and the irritating urban traffic, and weird Pinoy human traffic. I blame Stresstabs because it has a weird side effect on me. I am more sleepy now than before. Therefore I've been oversleeping, I think.

Anyway, human traffic is when pedestrians just can't get over the average 5.3kph rate of walking. You know what I mean. Oh how I miss walking in the streets of Hong Kong. Surprisingly, Chinese people walk fairly fast (pretty much like the Westerners) and they don't bump into each other. Now that's the kind of human traffic I need in Alabang. Not that I'm against strolling or taking your time with walking, but I hope these people do mind not obstructing the whole sidewalk. They can do that in malls or parks. (Just not always at the mall.)

*Now I'm really missing Hong Kong. Better start saving up again.*

Speaking of saving up, I managed to lower my monthly spending by 25% and I am thanking the little game Niq and I have. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit. Every time I'm at the 15th, 16th or maybe 20th day, I revert and succumb to my old ways. Pfft. And last week I have to admit I did just that, and it's really because I couldn't resist it! I think this site should help in breaking the habit. :-)

You see I was psyched last year when a former co-worker of mine has this huge bottle of hand sanitizer that you can spray sitting on his desk. I was so hung up on the item that I kept bugging him to tell me where he got it, and he told me that it was bought at a department store. And I tried looking for it for a month in different branches of that department store, but unfortunately failed. And just last week, I finally found what I've been looking for. (Is that a line from a song?) Of all places, I found my new spray hand sanitizer at Bench! :-) I forgot to take a picture but it comes in three scents, lavender, mandarin burst and the regular scent. I got the mandarin burst.

*Will upload picture some time later. And probably a separate review. :-)*

I think there's still space for one more rant. ;-) And I just have to let this out because yesterday, I was working. (Pfft, I know. Haha! My fault anyway.) The laptop I was using yesterday was not installed with plug-ins for me to listen to Magic's Sunday countdown, so I resorted to tuning in to MTV. This is what I hate about mainstream. Whatever song you hear on the radio, is probably the same ones playing on TV, and everyone else's Ipod. And hearing songs over and over again, and literally everywhere, just makes me want to gag. (I support Indie and new artists more than mainstream artists. Hooray for originality and new blood!)

So after about ten minutes of Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, Lady Gaga and Beyonce, something new to my ears played. Which I definitely had to share with Monique. (And that's a different story.) You see, there's just this something in bad boys that really make my head turn and go after them.

  

As far as I know, Alexandra Burke won some reality show in UK a couple of years back. And this song just rocks my socks. ;-)

*Do the bad boys always get the good girls? ;-)*

And oh. On some random internet search, I found this:

 

Hooray for the Olympics! :-D

Hello Baby.

I was supposed to write about a post-bridal fair experience on how my favorite wedding photographer won again the photo contest. But I guess sappy love songs playing over and over on my laptop is forcing my brain to conjure words that talks about giddy feelings and, well, sappy love songs.


To cut everything short, my ex-crush invited me for Saturday. To his son's baptism. Nice noh?


Oh well. Before I last saw him, he showed me his baby's pictures, and OMG (take note of the capitalized font) he was so adorable! Really. I wanted to see the baby since then. So now I don't know if I'm going on Saturday. Not that I'm bitter or anything, it's just that it will be held in Laguna, and I already have a commitment for Saturday night. Hmm...


Moving on, (which means I will think about that later seriously,) I am still on Melomanila hangover. Remember my Mio night last week? Their cd is still stuck in my player and still playing on and on and on. And just this weekend I met Jessica and TJ again, and for the nth time, I heard their songs again, and I got another cd. (Which is by the way packaged in a very nice cover. Will take a picture later. I'm quite busy now. Haha.)


Anyway, part of my job today includes informing our winners last weekend on how to claim their prizes. One couple actually won a personalized song to be composed and sung by Melomanila. (I so want that prize. Much more than the Pearl Farm thing. :-P How cool is it to have your very own personalized wedding theme song right?) So I informed the bride-to-be, who was quite hesitant on claiming her prize. An hour after she learned she won, she called me back.


Yung Melomanila ba talaga ang gagawa ng kanta? As in gagawan nila kami ng kanta? Sila din yung kakanta?


Oh yes, mam, they're dead serious that they will. :-)


So I explained who Melomanila is (and how great singers they are of course.) And I can imagine her jaw dropping when I told her the 411 on Melomanila. I guess she was still in shock because she repeated the same questions she asked earlier. And by this time I can actually hear a smile from her end of the line, because I think she finally absorbed that she was given one of the most beautiful wedding gifts ever. :-)




What song would you want for your wedding? :-)