On Racing Against Time.

Wouldn't it be cool if we get to have this reset button to hold on to everyday?


I don't mean like Adam Sandler's life remote control on Click, but just this one reset button. Which can make you go back to the moment you woke up and do everything you did, just slower or different this time, because you want to change something. Which can only be used once everyday. Which can only be used at the last hour of the day. Which goes off once in awhile due to exhaustion. Which can be accumulated when not used. Which will expire when not used after 72 hours. Which will have more rules than I have already listed.


Seriously, I am this close to not sleeping anymore. Even that I can't fit into the frigingly short 24-hour day we all live. (That ten hour sleep I got today? That's pretty much my rest for the coming week. I'm seeing 2 or 3 hour sleeps again during the next few nights.) On top of not getting sleep, I can't even take five minutes of the day to open up my planner and writing down everything that I have, need and want to do. Because I am already doing a lot.


I know, I know. I've been living this kind of lifestyle ever since. But I'm starting to get tired of it. Tired, not bored. I think I have finally learned how to love the life I've been living. Maybe I just need change. I think should run on a different track. Or maybe take a walk through life on a slower pace. Let's see if that will fix things up.


It's already past two in the morning. I am ranting, but not complaining. Maybe close to it, but not quite yet. I just can't seem to understand how some people can manage their time, let alone their lives and I can't. I am now entertaining this huge wondering why Monday is too far from Friday, yet Monday seems so near to Friday.


I'm off to work again tomorrow. And sometime this week, I have to squeeze in time for things I want and need to do for myself. I think I'll stop ranting and try to figure out how to write everything on my planner.


And if all else fails and I still can't fit everything in 24hours, I'll just spend the rest of the day sleeping. Aylavet. :-)

Bowing Out Gracefully.

This is probably one of my most long overdue posts which I think is perfect enough to be written as the year comes to an end. (Maybe you can also blame me for not knowing where I left my laptop the other night. I'm actually typing all of this in someone else's laptop. Which, btw, I absolutely hate.) There's really nothing special about this post. It's basically a summary of all the things I've learned, and still trying to learn, for this year.


And now I don't know where to start. A lot has happened this year. Really. Maybe I'll start with the small stuff, eh?


Err... I can't think of anything small. I think everything has been a major thing in my life this year. Maybe because it was all a new chapter. You see, it's really a huge step for me to leave school and start working. Feels grown-uppy, but deep inside, I can't seem to grow up yet. Anyway, I'll just make a list of whatever it is I've learned.

• Anyone superior (professors, managers, officers, crappy government employees) is just plain unfair.
• "When in doubt, ask questions"
• You are more blessed than unfortunate, if you just look at things in a much bigger picture.
• Life, in general, is unfair.
• HR people are kind. Period.
• No matter how much you want something, if it just wasn't meant to be, IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
• The perfect time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
• There are really guys who fake a future just to get what they want in the present.
• An army of girlfriends is sooo much better than dealing with one boyfriend who can't treat you with respect.
• Some people just won't grow up, even in the workplace.
• Ohana.
• Nothing can ever be kept in the dark.
• Some people would do just about anything just to get their 15 minutes of fame.
• Facebook, Multiply, and all the other social networks out there help in keeping communication and relationships alive, but there's more to that.
• When about to get drunk, keep all things valuable in a safe place, and be sure to get drunk only with people you trust, and by that, friends who will take you home safely.
• Play with kids to help you relax.
• There are a lot of good single guys out there so stay away from the taken ones. (And taken guys, please stay away from single girls who are trying hard to snag a single guy. So stop pretending you're single.)
• When shopping on a budget, always use the 28-day rule.
• Impulse buying is allowed in bazaars. (And bazaars only. And for a certain amount too.)
• Caffeine is good, but not always.
• Try new stuff everyday. Specially food. There's a lot of surprises in food.
• Alcohol is always good with friends.
• When alone and need comforting and no one is around, watch TV series. Sometimes the best pick-me-up lines are said there.
• Wear clothes to please yourself and not other girls. Trust me, you might just start a trend. ;-)
• Always remind yourself these words: You are beautiful, inside and out.
• Growing up is such a hard thing to do.
• Strangers give out very nice blessings. Seriously.
• Cats are very cuddly pets. And they make nice alarm clocks too.
• The world is really really small.
• Never stop learning, because there are more things to learn beyond this list.

...there. What has been, in general, for my life in 2009. ;-)

What have you learned so far? :-)

S. O. S.

I remember those days when me and my friends would just stay up late, talk, pig out, watch tv, and play Monopoly til like 2 or 4 in the morning. I don't remember what we talked about because we talked about anything that could possibly in anyone's mind.

What I really remember about those times was that whenever we played Monopoly, which by the way would run for hours, I was excited to get in jail. Why? Because that would mean I'd get to have a break. I can either go back to texting whoever was still up then, or I could catch up on the tv show we were supposedly tuned in. And I get a bathroom break without disrupting the flow of the game. :-P

That go to jail mishap is what I need right now. I think.

I am tired of thinking. I have way too much on my mind right now, none of which I want to talk about, because I am just that much tired of thinking, worrying, stressing. I'd like to be sent to my own jail. Take a break.

I don't want to blame anything in my life right now for being this stressed.

*You know what just happened? I typed random words which I thought was still under the subject which I then realized that it doesn't make sense and I just pressed the backspace button like ten times to make sure I typed this sentence right.*

I don't want to stop from writing. It is my escape, my happiness, my refuge, my comfort zone. It is where my locked-up thoughts are set free. It is why in those early hours of the day you can find me sane and decent enough to talk to.

But, as someone said so last night, "You have a lot on your mind to write." True enough. I don't even know how to get my tangled brain cells untangled. If you could get inside my brain, you'd be lost within five seconds. Because I know I am right now.

And I will be honest. I need help.