Okay, pamangkins, inaanaks and young-at-heart friends. I'm praying to finally cross you out of my list tonight. :-)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Spiral Downfall.
"I hope you find happiness in what you're doing."
Geez.
But what if you can't find happiness in whatever you do? Sucks.
(Really not in the mood to write, I'm hungry and there's that KFC Tower Burger ad on TV again.)
Okay, I'll eat lunch now.
Geez.
But what if you can't find happiness in whatever you do? Sucks.
(Really not in the mood to write, I'm hungry and there's that KFC Tower Burger ad on TV again.)
Okay, I'll eat lunch now.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
How To Be Single.
If you're looking for tips on how to be good at this, no, you're on the wrong blog. It's just not what I do. How-to's and tips are not really my cup of tea. Because maybe I just can't figure some things out.
How To Be Single is the latest book I've been reading. Or should I say the first book I've been reading since I-can't-remember-the-last-time-I-have-read-a-book-for-pleasure. Yes. Emphasize on the last two words. i forgot how much fun reading was.
I've reached about a third of the book. I actually thought I wouldn't find it in the bookstores anymore since it's been unavailable in the last 3 weeks. So I immediately bought it when I found a copy last Tuesday. Pretty interesting though. I couldn't put it down. It's somehow Eat, Pray, Love meets Sex and the City.
Julie (the protagonist) is now on her third foreign city and so far, I've learned about pride, open marriage, slapping men, and even sleeping with prostitutes. (I've noticed it gets funnier and funnier with each lesson.) I'm currently browsing the website. Apparently there's a reel film about this. I should watch that when I have time. Enough time like now when I am just sitting in front of my laptop, blogging, and actually cleaning up my emails. (Sheesh. All these being connected with your friends drama is flooding my emails with lots and lots of notifications.) I hear the videos are interesting. Because they're real. And because the fictional book came from these non-fiction stories.
Do the lessons I've learned so far matter? I guess so. I'm still a mess, I have to admit. And honestly, I just realized I wanted to travel more now. Like for example, I just asked my friends to take me to the beach soon. And I am actually looking at all these websites recommending good places to go to. And speaking of my friends, last night I went to a friend's birthday party. She knows what I'm going through. And last night, yes last night was a blast because I remembered how good laughing feels. I got resurrected. I think I will be better now.
So if you're going to ask me for tips on how to be single? I have one: no man can ever define your happiness - you've got other people in your life to help you with it. =)
How To Be Single is the latest book I've been reading. Or should I say the first book I've been reading since I-can't-remember-the-last-time-I-have-read-a-book-for-pleasure. Yes. Emphasize on the last two words. i forgot how much fun reading was.
I've reached about a third of the book. I actually thought I wouldn't find it in the bookstores anymore since it's been unavailable in the last 3 weeks. So I immediately bought it when I found a copy last Tuesday. Pretty interesting though. I couldn't put it down. It's somehow Eat, Pray, Love meets Sex and the City.
Julie (the protagonist) is now on her third foreign city and so far, I've learned about pride, open marriage, slapping men, and even sleeping with prostitutes. (I've noticed it gets funnier and funnier with each lesson.) I'm currently browsing the website. Apparently there's a reel film about this. I should watch that when I have time. Enough time like now when I am just sitting in front of my laptop, blogging, and actually cleaning up my emails. (Sheesh. All these being connected with your friends drama is flooding my emails with lots and lots of notifications.) I hear the videos are interesting. Because they're real. And because the fictional book came from these non-fiction stories.
Do the lessons I've learned so far matter? I guess so. I'm still a mess, I have to admit. And honestly, I just realized I wanted to travel more now. Like for example, I just asked my friends to take me to the beach soon. And I am actually looking at all these websites recommending good places to go to. And speaking of my friends, last night I went to a friend's birthday party. She knows what I'm going through. And last night, yes last night was a blast because I remembered how good laughing feels. I got resurrected. I think I will be better now.
So if you're going to ask me for tips on how to be single? I have one: no man can ever define your happiness - you've got other people in your life to help you with it. =)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Steps. Stages. Levels.
Why do people put off doing some things til later? Most are not ready. Some are stuck and can't imagine what it's like on the other side. There are also others who are just afraid to take a leap. We've all heard it: the first step is always the hardest. And as if pressure from other people who are expecting us to overcome whatever it is that we need to do isn't enough, facing the mirror and telling yourself you must do it is just a pain in the ass.
Yes, I'm talking about loss here. Loss of someone, loss of something, slap-in-the-face-somebody-is-no-longer-part-of-your-life. Why is it so hard to move on?
THE NILE.
Yes, I have been blind. Because I can't believe something that was making me happy suddenly turned out to be one of the hugest heartache I'll be going through in my life! That's why I refused to believe it was over.
ANGRY BIRDS.
It will never be fair. And people will always be to blame. Or maybe I am to blame too. Whatever. At least I know somebody is responsible for my loss. And just like the stupid video game, it would come to a point I would like to see somebody blow up just like the damned pigs of the game.
50% OFF.
It's true. Shopping and haggling skills were put to test as I tried to work out something that's not meant to be. Seriously, I've thought of giving up a lot just to have it all back. How pathetic. =\
PROZAC DEPENDENCE.
This, this stage has got to be the hardest for me. Come on! I've been sulking and disconnecting from love and affection. How sad is that? And yes, I do know what it feels like to sleep for 13 hours. Because being awake half the day is just sad, when I see nothing meaningful to make me want to live. And yes, I do splurge when I am depressed. Retail therapy used to work. I'm not sure now.
ACCEPTANCE.
Fine, I couldn't come up with my own term for this. Because at this point, I am so far away from this. With all the stupid decisions and self-pity I am doing, it will take too long before I can accept whatever crap happened to me. Okay?
I know I just ranted in the past 20mins. That's why I've been post-poning writing. Because I am having a hard time admitting to myself I am broken again right now. Because I don't want to be broken. Because I can't believe someone just broke me again.
Now, to go drown my sorrows with the rain.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Before I Do Bridal Fair Pre-Event Press Release
Looking for the perfect wedding dress? How about a sumptuous feast for your wedding guests? Dreaming of dancing your very first dance as a couple to the soothing sound of a quartet? Are you now counting the days til you say “I do”?
This coming May, find all the things you will need for your very special day as VRC Creative Events presents Before I Do Bridal Fair 9th Edition which gathers over seventy wedding suppliers who are more than willing to extend their services to soon-to-wed couples and even debutants in making their special day a memorable one.
From May 14 to 15, 2010, the Megatrade Hall 1 of SM Megamall in Mandaluyong will be filled with seventy of the finest and most sought after wedding suppliers, as well as those neophytes in the industry, to help out all soon-to-wed couples make that dream wedding come true. Guests will enter a hall dressed up by Full Blooms Flower shop, while DJ Hitman and Andrew Que of Happy Events will play host during the fair along with a number of singers and performers who will keep guests entertained.
To better enlighten guests, The Wedding Planner Magazine, Wedding Flavours Magazine, BridalBook.ph and Kasal.comwill serve as guide on how to prepare for their special day. Proudly shown on the event’s posters is Nice Print Photography immortalizing a client’s wedding day. With a lot of options to choose from, guests will be treated to a lot surprises and amazing finds in this event, including discounts and special rates for on the spot bookings. These on the spot bookings are also the key to get a chance to 3day 2night stay at 7 Stones Boracay Suites with round trip boat transfers for 2 if luckily picked during the raffle draw at the end of the fair, along with the awarding of Best Prenup Photo Contest winners.
As for those still trying to get ideas and have not made a final decision yet on what they want for their special day, they still have a chance to win hourly the onsite raffle items from participating exhibitors. Not to be left behind, the exhibitor who gets the most number of bookings also gets credit and 3day 2night stay for 2 at Panoly Resort Hotel.
This event is also made possible with the following partners:MyBridalFair.com, Sulit.com.ph, Herword.com, Manila Bulletin, Business World, Megatrade Hall, SM Megamall and MSD Godspeed.
Soon-to-wed couples, debutants and guests can get in for free when they pre-register online athttp://bido9.doattend.com/.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Cliche.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
For a few seconds there I was blank. I scrambled my mind for an answer. I even tried to travel back in time when I was a child just to recall what I wanted to be. And just like that my brain cells were frozen. No process or thought was on my mind at that moment.
Nada.
Insert a cricket sound if you must, I could not give an answer to the question.
So ramble I did. Pathetic much. I'm probably the only twenty-something in the world who doesn't know what she wants to be. Who forgot the things she had always dreamed of. I have reached a point in my life where I do not know what to want, what to live for. I might as well be dead.
I do recall I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a five year-old kid. The thought of being in space with nothing blocking you, just you alone, was lovely to me. Then I threw the idea out a year later when I realized loneliness is just too sad and I have no idea how to deal with it. Fast forward through my formative school years, I decided that having a relationship with science is fun, exciting, which is why as geeky as it may sound, I dreamed of having a lab and becoming (genius) scientist. Or maybe I should blame that fantasy to overdosing on Dexter's Laboratory, because when I got bored with Deedee annoying Dexter and Dexter cleaning up after Deedee, I found myself being fascinated with the wonders of being a lawyer. For the love of argument maybe. Or perhaps I just like the glamor and authority a lawyer has. (Power suits also amazed me. I think I wanted a few in my closet then. I just looked at them, but not wear them. I feel old when I wear them.) I cannot remember anymore how or when I started to want my own business. And then when that phase had passed, I fell in love with the idea of being somebody's employee, and just getting up on the corporate ladder.
And today, I have no idea where I am. I feel like I'm in the middle of Shibuya. Stuck in the middle waiting for the red light to turn green, which apparently in the last two months won't, and I can't seem to cross the street without being ran over by a bus.
How morbid.
I would give anything just to know which way to go, which road to take, which green light to look out for.
It took me more than half an hour to come up with this whole entry. Kind of unusual for someone who's used to writing at the speed of thought. The writer in me probably got tired and must have died along that stupid journey of searching what to be. And I still do not know the answer to the question!
(This is frustrating. Really.)
In the middle of wanting to wrap this up and looking forward to sleeping, I suddenly remembered this song I used to sing from way back in 2004. (Please listen to the song, and do not mind the video. It's the most decent version I could find.)
So what do I want to be when I grow up?
You tell me what you want to be then I'll decide what I want to be.
For a few seconds there I was blank. I scrambled my mind for an answer. I even tried to travel back in time when I was a child just to recall what I wanted to be. And just like that my brain cells were frozen. No process or thought was on my mind at that moment.
Nada.
Insert a cricket sound if you must, I could not give an answer to the question.
So ramble I did. Pathetic much. I'm probably the only twenty-something in the world who doesn't know what she wants to be. Who forgot the things she had always dreamed of. I have reached a point in my life where I do not know what to want, what to live for. I might as well be dead.
I do recall I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a five year-old kid. The thought of being in space with nothing blocking you, just you alone, was lovely to me. Then I threw the idea out a year later when I realized loneliness is just too sad and I have no idea how to deal with it. Fast forward through my formative school years, I decided that having a relationship with science is fun, exciting, which is why as geeky as it may sound, I dreamed of having a lab and becoming (genius) scientist. Or maybe I should blame that fantasy to overdosing on Dexter's Laboratory, because when I got bored with Deedee annoying Dexter and Dexter cleaning up after Deedee, I found myself being fascinated with the wonders of being a lawyer. For the love of argument maybe. Or perhaps I just like the glamor and authority a lawyer has. (Power suits also amazed me. I think I wanted a few in my closet then. I just looked at them, but not wear them. I feel old when I wear them.) I cannot remember anymore how or when I started to want my own business. And then when that phase had passed, I fell in love with the idea of being somebody's employee, and just getting up on the corporate ladder.
And today, I have no idea where I am. I feel like I'm in the middle of Shibuya. Stuck in the middle waiting for the red light to turn green, which apparently in the last two months won't, and I can't seem to cross the street without being ran over by a bus.
How morbid.
I would give anything just to know which way to go, which road to take, which green light to look out for.
It took me more than half an hour to come up with this whole entry. Kind of unusual for someone who's used to writing at the speed of thought. The writer in me probably got tired and must have died along that stupid journey of searching what to be. And I still do not know the answer to the question!
(This is frustrating. Really.)
In the middle of wanting to wrap this up and looking forward to sleeping, I suddenly remembered this song I used to sing from way back in 2004. (Please listen to the song, and do not mind the video. It's the most decent version I could find.)
So what do I want to be when I grow up?
You tell me what you want to be then I'll decide what I want to be.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Okay? Okay.
In the midst of a very loud room, I can still hear my heart breaking to a million pieces.
About a gazillion thoughts ran through my head the entire day. The moment I faced the monitor of my laptop, everything just went away. Maybe because I can't bear to think about it anymore.
Here's the thing. I'm tired of the silent treatment. I'm sick of it. I'd rather hear you hate me, you're angry at me, I've hurt you than not being able to know what is wrong. It's just torture for me, it kills me.
So to sum it up, when I ask you to let go of me, please make it hard for me by asking me why. Not by agreeing to it, because that makes me feel I don't mean anything to you.
What does okay really mean?
About a gazillion thoughts ran through my head the entire day. The moment I faced the monitor of my laptop, everything just went away. Maybe because I can't bear to think about it anymore.
Here's the thing. I'm tired of the silent treatment. I'm sick of it. I'd rather hear you hate me, you're angry at me, I've hurt you than not being able to know what is wrong. It's just torture for me, it kills me.
So to sum it up, when I ask you to let go of me, please make it hard for me by asking me why. Not by agreeing to it, because that makes me feel I don't mean anything to you.
What does okay really mean?
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